Funny thing, how at times relatively tame events cascading down the slope of life can suddenly go frantic, tearing away at what should be a firm, strong and stable foundation, leaving you gazing helplessly at the roiling waters wondering how it all got to this point and what could possibly be done to tame them.
Just in case that doesn't make sense (I'm not all sure it does even to me), what I really mean is I'm spent. It's not just because my MUCH better half has been gone for over a week and won't be returning for a handful of days yet. It's not just because I'm solely responsible for taking care of the kiddos when, no matter how I might try, something always comes up to viciously stuff my plans and schedule down the garbage disposal. It's not just the threat of long-term medical treatment for Dylan. But when you add all of these things together and put them in a pack, it feels heavy today. And when I get to thinking about things of this sort, I wax. A lot. Philosophical waxing. Much less painful than the ordinary type, but takes a lot more time and tends to irritate those around me more than normal waxing irritates the skin.
It's always been difficult for me to positively focus on the future instead of wallowing in the mistakes of the past. I'm not particularly good at many things, but I have mastered self-criticism! All this makes parenting ... difficult. I believe that being a parent is the highest Earthly calling, and fulfilling this calling well is a formidable challenge indeed. And it's a darn good thing that God cares about all of his children, including the ones we have been blessed with, because I'm sure not going to be able to raise them well on my own.
Well, now I've pitied myself enough. On to tackle something that needs done!
After dessert.
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